Remembering When

Our oldest turned 5 this past Friday. It was fun, we were excited. We had a great party with friends at the bowling alley. On the way home from the bowling alley, "Remember When" by Alan Jackson was on the radio. And it took me back- to the day we brought him home from the hospital. That very song was on CMT and I remember crying, thinking "it will never be just me & Ryan again." My heart was sad, for that reason, and because I was thinking about how our kids would never know our grandparents who had died or the one who was in the hospital and died just 7 weeks later. But at the same time, I was so happy and so filled with joy, having just brought our first baby boy home from the hospital. Now, he's 5 and our second baby boy is almost 2 1/2. I am SO glad it's not just me & Ryan anymore. Not because I don't adore my husband but because I could not, just COULD NOT, imagine life without my precious boys. Here we are, 30 years old and our boys are growing up so fast. Some day, they'll be grown up and have lives of their own and Ryan and I WILL be alone again and will be left to "Remember When." These are years I do not want to wish away and I do not want to forget!

The lyrics, in case you have not heard the song...

Remember when I was young so were you
time stood still
love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
made love and then you cried
Remember when
Remember when we vowed the vows walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard
lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when
Remember when old ones died new were born
life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
broke each other's hearts
Remember when
Remember when the sound of little feet
was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give it up
Remember when
Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookin' back, it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are, where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when
Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when

The Grind

After Ryan having two short weeks with two four day weekends and me not watching Tanner for almost two weeks, we're back at it this week. I was thinking on Monday, oh, back to the grind but that just sounds awful. Who wants to be ground? Not me! So I have set out to make our routine not a "grind". With some focus and prioritizing, tweaking of the schedule, and cutting out/down the things that rob me of my time, I'm feeling pretty on top of things today. My house is getting back in order, I'm spending more time with the kids, I'm working on the business, and checking things off my project to do list. Hopefully I will be able to keep this up throughout the year and make it a true lifestyle/household change!

Crazy

Oh my... I was just having a phone conversation with my mom, it ended with me hanging up on her. I TOLD her I was not going to argue with her and she wouldn't let it go... Here's the story: my dad had my siblings and I and our families over today. In the course of my conversation with my mom, that came up. She said "ugh, see, I don't see why he doesn't invite us over for things like that." I told her I didn't think he had to. So we began to debate. I don't think that when mom has all of us over, we should "have to" invite dad and vice versa. She gave me this line of crap about doing it for us kids. I told her that if we thought it was important, we'd suggest it but obviously us kids don't think it's that important and therefore, since it's about "us" and not her, to just let it go. She ended up telling me I need to pray about it and search my heart. I told her I didn't, that I know how I feel about it. And she said but what about how the Lord feels about it, that He tells us to love everyone. I said that we do love everyone but that doesn't mean that we ALL have to get together all the time. Her and my dad are divorced. The reality of that is that we are now two families, not one. That's when she told me that I needed to talk to a counselor. I then reminded her I said I wasn't going to argue about it and I hung up on her. Now I'm trying to resist the temptation of calling her back. I want to apologize for hanging up on her but at the same time, I know she'll only start rehashing the whole ordeal. UGH!

TODAY

Because I'm tired of messing up and saying "tomorrow" and because we all know tomorrow never comes... TODAY, I am going to start eating right, exercising, and working my way to my goal weight. I WILL succeed, starting TODAY. Yes, this comes just after the new year but it's not a resolution- it's something I've been putting off until "tomorrow" for well over a year now. Of course I've lost some weight but I have not succeeded in meeting my goal. I am setting out today on the mission of reaching that goal. And TODAY, I am going to start checking things off my projects and to-do list. There's never a good time, never enough money, never enough energy (blah, blah, blah) so I'm just going to do it and get it done!